Something for the ladies.....

PregnancyQ &A &more!

Q: Should I have a baby after 35? A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will mybaby move? A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determinea baby's sex? A: Childbirth.

Q: Mywife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderlineirrational. A: So what's your question?

Q: Mychildbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure.Is she right? A: Yes, in the same way that a tornadomight be called an air current.

Q:When is the best time to get an epidural? A! : Right after you find out you'repregnant.

Q: Isthere any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor? A: Not unless the word 'alimony' meansanything to you.

Q: Isthere anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth? A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: DoI have to have a baby shower? A: Not if you change the baby's diapervery quickly.

Q: Ourbaby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again? A: When the kids are in college.

'ESTROGEN ISSUES' 10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE 'ESTROGEN ISSUES'

1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.

2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.

3 The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.

4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.

5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says:'How's my driving-call 1- 800-'.

6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.

7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from 'outer space'.

8. You're not as nice as you used to be and you used to be abitch

9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.

10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday..

TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND

10. Cats' facial expressions.

9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.

8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.

7. Fat clothes.

6 Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.

5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.

4 Cutting your hair to make it grow.

3. Eyelash curlers.

2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made. AND, the Number One thing only women understand :

1. OTHERWOMEN Send this to five bright, funny womenyou know and make their day .. WE ALLNEED a Smile!